Perhaps you’ve seen the Tumblr “Brides Throwing Cats,” which features photos of brides tossing cats in place of bouquets. Thankfully those images are photoshopped, throwing a cat is actually a felony — apparently the people of Florida didn’t get that memo.
Floridian Kenneth Stuart is being charged with battery, resisting arrest and tormenting an animal, after attacking his girlfriend by throwing a cat at her.
Yes, you read that right. According to The Sun-Sentinel, the man launched his girlfriend’s pet feline at her face during a dispute Thursday, injuring the woman with her own cat.
Reading the arrest report, Broward County Judge John “Jay” Hurley said, “She was lying on the bed and you entered the bedroom holding something in your hand, head high, and she said you were yelling at her, ‘Look it’s going to die. It’s got no air,’ and at that point you threw the cat in her face.”
The cat reportedly scratched the left side of her face near her left eye and her face was bleeding. Granted, one cannot fault the cat for clawing, as he was being used as a grenade in a human argument.
After throwing the cat, Stuart proceeded to push the woman, knocking the television and computer to the floor.
The judge continued, saying, “When the police got there you said, ‘Just take me to jail. I’m tired of this. Later on, it says you changed your mind and allegedly said, ‘Ok, I’m sorry, I’m calm, can you let me go?’”
However, with two previous convictions for battery — which may or may not have involved an animal — the judge set Stuart’s bond at $16, 500 with orders to stay away from his mauled girlfriend and her understandably pissed-off cat.
Judge Hurley justified his sentence, saying, “That’s based on the level of violence and the court’s concern for the safety of her and the cat.”