Tinder: the for young, lazy people and the weirdos that stalk them

3 years ago
tinder app

If you’re under the age of 24, you probably know what Tinder is and can skip down to the amusing photos featured below. But if the word “tinder” means nothing to you but a “a very flammable substance adaptable for use as kindling“*, read on.

For those single and ready to mingle, but too lazy to create an elaborate online profile (or to ask a real-live person out on a real date), have no fear: there’s an app for that! Introducing “Tinder”: an app that facilitates match-making through your smart phone. It’s quite possibly the most instantly gratifying, shallow, creepy, hilarious, and easiest way to meet singles in your area.

The way it works is this: you download the app and sign in using your Facebook credentials, which Tinder then uses to generate a page consisting of a profile picture (plus 3 additional photos of your choice), your age, and your location. You designate a match preference, i.e. male searching for a female, female searching for a male, male searching male, etc. (it’s gay friendly!). Additionally, you get to see if you share mutual friends or interests with other users.

Using this information, Tinder generates a collection of singles within 50 miles of your location.

~And so the game begins~

Users scan through a seemingly endless stream of pictures, moving onto each one by designating whether or not the person in the picture is worth reaching out to. If you like what you see, you click a green heart, indicating a “like.” If you’re not interested, click the red X, and you never see or hear from this person again.

Then, you wait.

If someone you liked LIKES YOU BACK (!!!!!!!) then Tinder notifies you and you’re invited to start chatting. Since I am very old-fashioned, I typically wait for the male to initiate conversation, and depending on his text game, I might just respond!

The following is a collection of my favorite Tinder moments, captured on screenshot.

Some very eligible bachelors:


Hey babe, wanna spot me?


photo (8)

Note the gentle care with which he holds his iPhone to capture this brilliant mirror pic. Very good sign.


photo (7)

I mean, I guess it’s reassuring that he hangs out with chicks (with boobs!) his own age. Like.


photo (6)

Depending on whether or not this picture is a joke, this cassanova could be my soulmate.


photo (5)

Yo mom, could you take a pic of me for my Tinder prof?


photo (4)

But… which one are you?


photo (2)

When I discover guys this good looking (and, oh! So Euro!) , I must wonder …


photo (1)

(That’s a sword resting on his shoulder)



Those eyes! That smirk! *initiates chat*, *meets for coffee*, *goes back to his place*, *gets murdered*



Pic so sexy, he cracked the mirror


Saucy bachelorettes:


But, how are we supposed to know what you look like with that mask on?



More like TWINder, am I right??? *weeps*


milk tinder

Um…hi…uh, yeah, hey… chick? You…you have…you have semen all over your face.



Are you ACTUALLY single? ARE YOU??


couple and baby

Are YOU actually single?? Are you?? Is that not your spouse? Is that not your child?



Is this, like, a subtle hat-tip to beastiality?


photo (9)

Male or female? You decide. Bonus: he/she is 90 years old.


Some memorable chats:

photo (12)

The classy, traditional approach.


photo (11)

The not-so-classy approach


photo (10)

*sigh* Finally. Some recognition.



The pope is Catholic, the sky is blue, and I think we should meet.



I really don’t remember “liking” a 17-year old, but hey, sometimes Tinder pleasantly surprises you.



I call this one “Persistance



You had me at “I like your side swept bang”

I have yet to meet someone off of Tinder. I signed up as a joke (as I hope to god everyone else did), but day by day, as my list of mutual likes expands, I am tempted to take it to the next level. I plan to go on a date for the sake of some investigative journalism (aka to look for love in all the wrong places). Stay tuned and see what magic Tinder can make happen.

RYOT Note: As an active member of this social media obsessed generation, I ultimately boil Tinder down to yet another outlet for distraction and amusement (unless, of course, it helps me find my soulmate). But there’s also a lot to be said about an app like this: young people will do whatever it takes to socialize and discover meaningful connections with others. This can be a good and a bad thing. The media plays a dominant role in influencing (especially) girls’ perceptions of the world around them, as well as helping them to define their sense of self. The current state of negative media is a global health crisis for girls; causing mental, physical and emotional illness. I AM THAT GIRL seeks to combat this by building a community, inspiring girls to discover their innate worth and purpose. You can support by donating, or by sharing this article.

*(source: Merriam-Webster)

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